Entry tags:
(To: Jotaro, Mr. Hostar, Rerro-dick, Abdul)
(918):
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
(918):
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Entry tags:
To: Hermtits
(610):
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(813):
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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To: (Cassanova Dickbag)
(412):
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(914):
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(443):
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
(443):
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Entry tags:
*plane
(224):
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
(774):
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(479):
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Entry tags:
To: (Diarrhea Mouth)
(506):
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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To: (Cassanova Dickbag)
(604):
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(202):
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Entry tags:
To: (Diarrhea mouth)
(+61):
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Entry tags:
(no subject)
(203):
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.